Download E-books A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Heaven: (Or, How I Made Peace with the Paranormal and Stigmatized Zealots and Cynics in the Process) PDF

By Corey Taylor

Corey Taylor has obvious loads of incredible issues. besides the fact that, lots of his such a lot magnificent stories may perhaps simply surprise you. for a lot of his lifestyles, the Grammy Award-winning singer of Slipknot and Stone bitter has brushed up opposed to the supernatural international. these shut encounters impacted his own evolution simply up to headlining at fort Donington in entrance of 100,000 humans at obtain pageant or debuting at no 1 at the Billboard most sensible 200.

Since growing to be up in Iowa, his personal interest drew him into occasions that would've despatched most folks screaming scared and operating for the hills. he is ballsy adequate to enter the darkness and care for the results, even though. for this reason, he is noticeable ghosts up shut and private, no matter if whereas combing via an deserted apartment in his local Iowa as a toddler or recording an album within the fabled Houdini Hollywood Hills mansion. he is additionally bought the thoughts (and scars) to end up it. For a few cause, he can not seem to shake those spectral tales, and that brings us to this little tome correct here...

A humorous factor occurred for you to Heaven compiles Taylor's so much intimate, terrific, and insane moments with the supernatural. His stories are as vibrant as they're vicious. As he recounts those tales, he questions the validity of non secular trust structures and two-thousand-year-old dogma. As constantly, his rapid-fire writing, razor-sharp humorousness, unbridled honesty, and comfortable anecdotes make particularly the case for his element. chances are you'll turn out believing him or now not. that is as much as you. both approach, you are in for a hell of a ride.

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Carl then did whatever I had by no means visible him do sooner than: he took at the air of somebody who had a undeniable wisdom and really felt sorry for the ignorant, giving me a understanding smile that just about made me punch the shit out of him. “People devote sin, it doesn't matter what the age. ” you've got to be . . . “You comprehend rattling good i don't think in Hell. ” “C. T. , simply because you don't think, that doesn't suggest it isn't precise. ” “Oh, and the place do you believe Hell lies—just under the topsoil or simply above the Earth’s magma? ” “That isn't humorous. ” “It was once no longer a funny story! And let’s now not overlook the truth that you contradicted your self. How can those meant ‘oblivious lifeless’ be forgiven their sins yet nonetheless visit Hell? Is that now not a part of the full Heaven reward basket? ” Carl left. therefore, we didn't speak for some time. fortunately i've got different pals who've no legs in Christ’s shackles. however the humorous factor is that i don't brain a number of the issues that Jesus supposedly preached (oh yeah, i'm additionally a kind of weirdoes who's no longer thoroughly confident that Jesus ever fairly existed). i admire the assumption of flip the opposite cheek. i am keen on that the meek shall inherit the earth. I benefit from the miracle section—the loaves and the fishes, the water into wine. The water-into-wine tale provides me sufficient pause, even if, to attract a few connections the following and there. I name it the “Miracle Hypothesis”: there's the walk-on-water tale after which there's the water into wine tale. there's a tidy little parallel, simply because when you consider it, humans within the outdated days—even to this day—use their toes to stomp grapes to make wine, correct? good, we know that nobody can really stroll on water except there's a very lengthy dock submerged just below the outside within the shallow finish. Sooooo . . . might be Jesus used to be making wine at a celebration for a few those who had by no means visible how wine used to be made earlier than. various humans instructed the tale sufficient that it quite grew to become varied tales: strolling on water (or grape juice really—it may have by no means had time to ferment) and turning water into wine (because those stressed ignorant humans may need assumed the liquid used to be water sooner than the reality got here out). Is it a stretch? in fact it's a stretch, so much veritably so. yet that's what faith and the Bible are all about—stretching tales into scripture and, enormous quantities of years later in the United States, the reliable Land of the Gullible, turning scripture into “fact. ” simply to recap: it truly is attainable individual named Jesus stomped fruit for wine, humans observed this being performed, and during an old model of the sport cellphone, a story of 1 guy making drinks for a soiree turns into miracles that experience the texture that they have been together specific. earlier than you ask: sure, this is often what I do with my time while there's not anything on television and i've had an excessive amount of espresso. I debunk outlandishly dumb spiritual stories in a fair extra outlandish method. to cite the Christian Sasquatch: pass judgement on no longer lest ye be judged your self. among the Council of Nicea and the nineteenth-century introduction of Dispensationism, it truly is a ask yourself that extra Christians don't sit up straight, placed their newspaper and occasional down, and say, “Wait a minute .

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